why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize