whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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