Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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