Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
