I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
