you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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