I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
