I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize