Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
