Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
