thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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