i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
