We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
