4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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