Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
