i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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