Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
