I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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