also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
