i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
