Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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