Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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