Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
