dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize