only if we run a train.
done.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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