Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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