I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
