shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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