I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
