wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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