Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
