do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
