You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
