this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
