yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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