he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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