I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
