I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
