I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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