EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
PANTIES FOUND
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
