The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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