Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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