So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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