He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
