Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize