Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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