Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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