I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My hand turned me down
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
