i would punch a child for taco bell
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
