Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
