i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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