I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
