I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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