and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
