Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My bed smells like the plague
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
