I got chris browned last night
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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