So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
