i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
