Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
