Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think your dad took our porno
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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