Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
